Work Bag

Work Bag

Image by sigsegv
This is the bag I take to work every day.

Stranger #2: Tony

Image by Bekah Stargazing
This weekend, I went to NJ with my dad to visit my grandfather, who lives there, and to take some stuff out of the house my dad grew up in, because it is going to be sold pretty soon.

We stayed at a hotel in Teaneck, NJ. During this time, I had noticed a comic shop on Cedar (I think that was the road) that I wanted to visit, and we only got to checking it out on the last day of the trip.

My dad and I went in, we checked out the store, and ended up buying the graphic novel adaptation of Pride and Prejudice and Zombies, which I had been interested in reading.

After we left, I said to my dad, "Oh man, you know, that guy who worked there seemed like the type of guy who would totally be cool with me taking his picture for the 100 Strangers project."

My father promptly said, "Well then, let's go back in!" and turned around and started walking. I turned too, but I was hesitant. I didn't want to, because I felt nervous, shy... But then I thought about it some more, and I went back to thinking about how the man in question was a really laid-back kind of person, from the looks of it, and how he'd probably say that I could take his picture.

After my dad convinced me--and after I convinced myself as well, because I'd regret it if I passed up such a great opportunity for one of my Strangers--we went back into the shop, and I approached the man to ask him for a brief photo session.

He was a funny guy, who, before agreeing said, "Well if I introduce myself, will I not be eligible anymore? Because we won't be strangers then."

I took a number of photos, and Tony said, of somebody who was also in the store (a regular I'm assuming, who Tony knew), "He's a stranger, you could take a picture of him, too, probably."

I then asked for his name, which was Tony (if you haven't gathered yet), and thanked him for being so willing to let me take some shots.

I felt a lot more accomplished after all of that, and I was glad my dad said for me to go back in there to ask, because I probably would not have done it if he hadn't said, "Well go back and do it then!"

This is photo #2 in my 100 Strangers project. Find out more about the project and see pictures taken by other photographers at the 100 Strangers group page or at 100strangers.com.

Unfortunately, the comment below needs to be said.

Image by i.am.rebecca
This is unfortunatly the father of my beautiful child. What else can I possibly do? This is the evil ex. I try and talk to him. I try and be civil and grown up for the sake of our son. I even slightly considered just living with him for face sake for our son so he would have some kind of normal family life around him, I was willing to give up on my happiness and on life for the sake of our son.
I should explain, the ex has done an awful lot to me. He didn't like kisses, cuddles, sex or any signs of affection, and I told him I was prepared to give all of that up for him. He was prepared to let me do that. he thought the words I was saying and the things I was prepared to give up was ok, was normal. And I would have. But there comes a point when you have to question what is it all for. The ex wasn't working, any kind of job that he could have taken (granted maybe not what he trained for), but in a recession you can't be picky, anything was too beneath him, so it was up to myself to support our family. I was full time Uni and working 25 (and sometimes more) hours a week. I lost my Mum in my first year of Uni, I fell pregnant in my second year, and I had no support from anyone throughout all of this, but I had to carry on, what else is there to do? We had a baby who needed to be brought up right. We had no money, and I was grossly unhappy. Coming home to him sat on the sofa not having done anything...even if it meant cleaning the kitchen counters or just quickly hoovering up a little... I never asked for anything. I was happy to do housework, I was happy to try and get through my final year of Uni. I was happy to go out and work to look after the family. But there was nothing from him. A cuddle at the end of the day, or even the week would have sufficed. I never asked for material possessions, I never asked for anything. As long as we had a roof over our heads, that was all that mattered. When he use to question how many times I had switched the kettle on for a cup of tea in a day, or how long I'd had my straighteners on that morning....it's a very controlling behaviour....still...I let it slide. I had to do this for the sake of our son. I thought maybe he was just in a miserable place and that it would get better.
Eventually, doing everything and getting nothing, not even a smile at the end of the day, it grinds you down and wears you out.
I recall a conversation where I had to be honest with him, I told him that if he couldn't show me any kind of love, the love 2 people in a relationship are meant to have, then there wouldn't be much hope and I would have to call time on the relationship. He said ok. He did nothing. It carried on as usual. In my mind, that said to me he didn't care one bit for me. If you truly care about something, aren't you meant to fight for it? There was just nothing. A few months later I told him the relationship was coming to an end and that I would probably start looking elsewhere. He said he was fine with that as long as I 'didn't bring it home'.
How unwanted did he want to make me feel? Why did he think it was ok to live like that? Where was the fight? I didn't realise the love on his part really well and truly wasnt there. It hurt. It still does, and I don't know why. I feel I must mention that before the relationship had dissolved, bearing in mind he never wanted to have sex with the mother of his child, he would call sex lines and go on filthy dating one night stand kinda sites...the sites with webcams and get himself off while I was working or in bed. The best one was where he said he wa going for a bath and I walked in on him wanking into the toilet. I asked him why he would rather do all of this rather than have actual sex with his supposed gf. There was no answer. Please have a think on how that would make you feel, how if your bf said he loved you yet would rather leave the kisses and cuddles out and would rather wank into a toilet than have sex with you. What is that going to do to your confidence and self esteem? The relationship was over, remember, he agreed. I met a boy who I thought was a friend. I opened up about the problems in the relationship and he took that and spun it around to tell me everything I wanted to hear. I was too miserable and unhappy to see what was going on, it was like I wasn't even there and we had sex a few times. It was something to do to distract from the shitty reality i wasn't wanting to live.
In the end, the beloved father of my child strangled me and when I told him to stop, he squeezed tighter and I really thought that night in Aug 2011 was the night I was going to die.
There's a lot more he has done, but this post is too long as it is.
But the importance of inviting girls around to the family home on Twitter (while I was at work)...then he denies it because he lies constantly...but I have the proof in the form of a screenshot for that one, the constant need to give girls lifts home if he has done a DJ night in the hope to receive? Going to a friends house party and chatting a girl up all night an too giving her a lift home...while the above photo claims I cheated. I claim we had already separated (we had the 2 chats remember) But if he claims I cheated...what was he doing with this other girl then?
Double standards.
But this is what he does. This is what I get for giving up on my career so he can now pursue his, this is what I get for helping him by doing his laundry, by buying him a Fathers Day card and gift I could ill afford that he didn't even want to pick up, by taking care of our son on £46 per week and expecting that to buy food, clothes, toys, and anything else a 2 year old needs because he won't give any kind of support in the form of maintenance (please note I never ask him for anything) I asked for help once and he told me he would never ever give me a penny because I would 'spend It on myself'.
He is so way off. I go without because my son needs things. Its what a Mother does.
I can only just afford the basics for him, and I mean the very very basics, and he deserves so so much more.
I want what is best for my son, and I am doing all I can. I am a struggling single mother just trying to keep the peace, trying to do the right thing and I have never felt so worthless in all of my life.
I have no family to help, and he knows he can treat me how he wants because when things like my car or my washing machine fuck up, he knows i have to ask him because there is no one else. I would cut him dead if only I had to option to.
I have lost everything because of this selfish, dirty, lying, cheating, nasty, vindictive CUNT. And now, he has everything.
I was meant to be 'greatful for what I had' - what did I have?
I had a lazy useless excuse of a bf who would rather live as housemates which was ok by him, he controlled me, he made me feel like shit, like i was constantly never good enough, worthless, no sex, no cuddles, no kisses, no smiles, no nothing. Is that how life is meant to be?
All of the above guts me like a fucking fish. It's all one sided and people believe his shit, because he is the poor part time 'single daddy' when it suits him, and i'm clearly just the cheating harpie.

форт 7

Image by Sylvain Raybaud
[Fort #7]

Vladivostok is a city of great strategical importance. Located on a peninsula, it is surrounded by military forts both on land and on islands. These forts are no longer in use and can therefore be visited... if you can find them. Fort 7 is the most famous, reputedly the most interesting, and probably the only one you can find an official guide to. And this guide is a must see.

When we arrive at the bus station it takes us 10 minutes to find the direction of the fort, and 30 more to reach it, walking on an uncovered road. When we arrive, a sign on the door indicates that the fort is already closed but that we can call a certain number. Which Oksana (out host) does. A guy tells us he'll be there in ten minutes. And ten minutes later he is there, a skinny guy in military clothes and leather jacket, and everlasting smile carved deep in his tanned face. The usual chatter. Almost. When he hears we are French he says something about Rael we cannot understand. We prefer not to ask for details. The guide starts a diesel generator and we enter the fort. We first go to his office for a few general explanations. Then we start our descent to the depth. The fort reminds me strongly of Tarkovsky's movie Stalker. Vast empty rooms, absolute silence except for drops of water dripping from the ceiling, cold, humidity. Our guides sometimes indulges into the most foreseeable joke by turning off all lights, and then bursts into a deep but surprisingly sober laugh. He also seems to very much enjoy his green laser.
After a while we are back in the office. Because he likes us, he tells us about what really drives his life: ufology. The guy knows everything about the UFOs who keep showing up above Vladivostok and around. He has got paintings which he has drawn himself. He has got low res photographs whose authenticity is attested by the local ufology society. He wrote an article for a newspaper back in the years, unfortunately the KGB censored it. He shows us a notebook, size of a telephone book, in which he has been writing everything he knows since 1974, everything he has observed, UFOs size, shape, speed, locations, aerodynamics... He is putting up a website [DAMMIT I LOST HIS CARD! HELP, CLEMENT AND THOMAS!]
Because he really likes us, he will walk us back to the bus. Along the way he tells us about his family, his father who worked in or near the fort, how he went to play with a friend in the fort when he was seven, how he served here during his army years [it lacks consistency it seems]. He shows us were he used to live with his father and coworkers, and tells us that the place is connected to the fort by a tunnel, and also to Russky Island (several kilometers away in the sea). He points the locations of other forts around. He tells us that he has a got a "special device" and that if he triggers it on a clear night, "something extraordinary will happen". Too bad clear nights never happen here.

See the whole set: www.flickr.com/photos/popiet/sets/72157624645931186/
See also:
www.flickr.com/supercanard/tags/russia
www.flickr.com/thomasclaveirole/tags/russia

Project 365 August 2009 Mosaic

Image by Newbirth35
1. Day 213/365 - frozen yogurt (plain flavor) with mini M&Ms topping, 2. Day 214/365 - Moi, 3. Day 215/365 - blood test, 4. Day 216/365 - Marianity, 5. Day 217/365 - I lose water weight and sometimes see the 120s briefly before bouncing back up, 6. Day 218/365 - I finally gave in and bought the card, 7. Day 219/365 - drinking beer on a hot Saturday afternoon, 8. Day 220/365 - paws crossed like a proper young lady, 9. Day 221/365 - my Diet Coke addiction, 10. Day 222/365 - Proof I eat healthy most of the time (#21) - Monday snack: zucchini and Diet Coke, 11. Day 223/365 - celery and Crystal Light snack, 12. Day 224/365 - cheeseburger close-up, 13. Day 225/365 - chocolate chip mini cookies, 14. Day 226/365 - Armour thyroid medication close-up, 15. Day 227/365 - gathering before worship, 16. Day 228/365 - my new soap dish, 17. Day 229/365 - Caught in the act!, 18. Day 230/365 - Abby scratches herself, 19. Day 231/365 - ambulance & fire truck on Hegenberger, 20. Day 232/365 - my old and new pedometers, 21. Day 233/365 - depressed, 22. Day 234/365 - a father & daughter have dinner together at Applebee's, 23. Day 235/365 - buying snacks for my upcoming trip to Seattle and Oregon, 24. Day 236/365 - firemen break into a building where fire was reported, 25. Day 237/365 - moi :), 26. Day 238/365 - Losing some water weight, I see a new low! :), 27. Day 239/365 - Oakland International Airport, 28. Day 240/365 - the hotel room I stayed in, 29. Day 241/365 - Sunny Valley Grange Hall, 30. Day 242/365 - Mount Shasta, 31. Day 243/365 - I became sick the day after I got back32. Not available33. Not available34. Not available35. Not available

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